What to say to new parents (plus what NOT to say)

what to say to a new mum
I have the unique ability to genuinely not care what people say to me, or think about me, but motherhood means you can be a little more sensitive than usual so taking care about what you say can only be a good thing.  If it wasn’t obvious, this list is for a laugh but every joke is laced with some sort of hidden truth so….

First with the negative…. Here’s what NOT to say:
– Is she sleeping through yet?
– Have you tried sleeping while the baby sleeps?
– Just let her cry, she’ll figure it out
– You’re not going to save the environment all on your own, so don’t even bother to use cloth nappies/cloth wipes/any other environmentally friendly product
– My friends, cousins, bosses, dog walker did this with their baby… You should try it too!
– What’s wrong with him? Why does he cry so much?
– Oh I’ll just wake the baby for a quick cuddle.. It’ll be fine!
– She’s crying, I think she’s hungry!
– So when are you having your next baby?
– When are you going back to work?
– OMG I am so tired
– Ugh, I am so sick/hungover/tired I can’t wait to lie in bed all weekend

Here’s what to say instead:
– You’re doing a great job!! You’re simply amazing!
– Meh, sleep is overrated, you’re amazing!
– Can I help you with the dishes/washing/vacuuming while you go about being amazing?
– You’re so amazing as a mum/dad, I promise with all your hard work that it’ll get easier
– Here’s a frozen dinner/batch of muffins/fruit salad/wine/beer/chocolate to fuel your amazingness
– Did you know that powerful world leaders survive on less than 8 hours sleep too? So you’re as amazing as them, if not more so!!
– Trust that your baby will sleep through eventually, then they’ll be teenagers who won’t get out of bed for love nor money and you won’t know what’s worst!! Oh and by the way, you’re amazing!
– Do whatever feels right to you, and screw everyone else. You’re amazing!
– Baby just did a poo-splosion? Let me take care of that for you..!
– I totally feel you (on whatever you just complained about)!
– Don’t even think about making long term decisions to go back to work, or to not go back to work, a lot can change in a year
– My life is shit compared to yours, don’t worry, you’re not missing out at all (yeah this one is probably a lie, but lying to make others feel good is the best sort of lie….)

What did people say to you that annoyed you?
And what were the lovely things people said to you?

Oh and sorry/not sorry about the “amazing” theme…

One thought on “What to say to new parents (plus what NOT to say)

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