The great feeding debate


A friend of mine suggested this topic a while ago and my first thought was reluctance… How we feed our babies is such a minefield!

Before I go any further can I just say there’s a few swears below because I feel really strongly about this so… Earmuffs, people.

Ok. I honestly think that fed is best. As in, as long as your baby is nourished by an appropriate food source, you’re doing a great job!! Bottle or boobs is good by me and I like to pride myself on being a judgement free māmā. At the end of the day, the goal is to have baby fed, stimulated and loved!  Personally, I wanted to breastfeed and still do, but we’ve also topped up with a bottle and when baby is in care she has a bottle of breast milk or formula. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I walk my talk too.

Look can we all just agree that we’re all trying to do the best that we can for our kids? Feeding, napping, playing, loving and nurturing, routines… No other job is critiqued as hard and as angrily as parenting. Can we not all be supportive?

I mean, to the woman who glared at me while I breastfed my crying baby to calm her down in a public cafe: could you not having turned away and gotten a life?

To the sticky beaked father who said that my “problem” was that breastfeeding didn’t feed my baby enough to make her sleep through the night, your opinion does nothing to support me in my choices as a mother.

And finally, to the woman who raised an eyebrow and made a rude comment to a friend of a friend for bottle feeding…? Just shut the fuck up the next time you decide to crush a mother’s spirit! (Edit: the bottle was actually full of breast milk, but that only adds to the irony).

Man, I am so SICK of everyone and their judgement. Why does this even happen? As if feeding your baby a certain way means you think the other option is “wrong”?

Anti breastfeeders can jog on… And anyone who says it’s ok to breastfeed a baby but wrong to breastfeed a toddler can rethink their opinion too. Putting your idea of “right” and “wrong” on a mother about when it is and is not ok to breastfeed their child is the same as saying it’s wrong altogether. It’s just a covert double standard! Let her and her baby decide for themselves when it’s time to wean.

There are pro-breast feeders who are terrible too… I actually had to unfollow a few Facebook pages because their attitude was so negative towards bottle feeding. Why can’t people be happy with their choices and leave the negativity out of it? Can’t it just be “I breastfeed because it’s what I want to do” and leave out the “oh and formula is the devil” rant?  You devalue every mother who tried but couldn’t breastfeed, every mother who survived a mastectomy and did not have breast tissue to enable feeding, every adoptive mother and every “two dad” family.

Raising a healthy, happy, well adjusted child is hard enough as it is without all the negativity, so chill the fuck out people!

Keep your judgement and unsupportive comments to yourself, they are not welcome here, or by any parent.

3 thoughts on “The great feeding debate

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