The pre-mum delusion

The pre-mum delusion (1)

Before I became a mum, as well a being a bit of a judgy bitch I had all sorts of deliciously stupid ideas about what it would be like to actually parent. I mean, it seemed that people had their stuff together when it came to babies and kids so I figured I would probably be the same, right? Wrong.

I definitely don’t have my stuff together.
Sure it might look like my house it tidy but that’s because I’m a compulsive declutterer (is dat a word?) and if you look closely it’s not actually clean. I don’t always wear clean clothes (ew, except for underwear..!), I’ve usually got hairy legs and I haven’t straightened my hair in ages. I do confess that I take care of my face but that’s because I love beauty stuff.
It might seem like Mackenzie is a good baby but that’s because she was born that way and it really doesn’t have a whole lot to do with me, but she is a great sleeper which I absolutely DO take credit for. Heh.
What I’m trying to say is that I don’t have my shit together even though I thought I would, and if it seems like I don’t have the health and fitness thing down you would be right about that, actually. I love a treat or two (in moderation) and I don’t prioritise daily exercise. I’m aware ok?

Along with a perfect baby, running my life like a boss and time for diet and exercise I thought I’d…..

– Watch the whole Downton Abbey series.
Because for some reason I thought my baby would just sleep when she needed it and I’d get lots of breaks to lounge around the house. I want to go back in time and slap myself!!

– Organise my pantry.
I even pinned some blog posts to give me some good ideas! Ha ha ha, the stupidity….
I imagined beautiful mini mason jars for herbs and spices and cool food storage containers full of flour, sugar, oatmeal, pastas, quinoa, couscous and black rice all with beautiful handwritten labels. I think this was when I was at about 95% delusional.

– Catch up on all the spring cleaning and maintain a clean and orderly home at all times.
From pregnancy weeks 40 to 42 I cleaned the windows inside and out, wiped the skirting boards, and did all of the general house cleaning stuff in an effort to bring on labour. IT DID NOT WORK. But regardless, I figured if I could do it while pregnant I could do it with a baby..! Ahhhhhh nope. Baby can be uncomfortable and a little annoying when inside but he or she is way, way, WAY more work once they’re out.
I mean, I’ve done the basics since baby arrived but the house is no way near as tidy as it used to be and it’s not as clean either… I’d just rather cuddle my baby, or nap, or eat food and watch TV. Ha!

– Sort out my clothes.
I have three wardrobes.. One for home/non-work clothes, one for work clothes, one for exercise clothes. Don’t go around thinking I’m Khloe Kardashian, there is no fanciness to my clothes, we just have teeny cupboards in our house so I split my stuff between them.
Before baby, I had this idea that I’d have time to sort through it all, keep what I really wanted, donate what I could and bin the rest. To this day I still wear about 1/8th of my clothes and have racks and drawers of clothes collecting dust….. No donations, nothing thrown out. Ugh.

– Do a daily walk/exercise.
Because my perfect baby would just fit into my life and would sleep when I told her to sleep…!
To be fair, I try to do a walk at least a couple times a week, especially if it’s fine weather but I have not gone back to the gym as my body, even 7 months on has not recovered. I’m seeing a physio about my diastasis recti and symphysis pubis so can’t be as active as I once was (btw, those are fancy names for abs that are still separated and my public bone and hips which are still too soft and therefore weak). I also thought I’d…..

– Be back to my pre-baby weight.
Mostly because I didn’t pig out during my pregnancy and I still don’t. I’m also breastfeeding for most, if not all, of Mackenzie’s milk feeds and EVERYONE says that breastfeeding helps you lose the weight right? No.
I started eat a little more than before based on advice from a lactation consultant but I probably just need to quit my chocolate habit 😦 And finally, I thought I would…

– Eat filling and nutritious meals.
I had this great thought that I’d have all this time on my hands to make yummy lunches, smoothies and baking. The reality was that, in the beginning, I would not eat at all. I just never found the time and didn’t have a pantry stocked with easy to eat food!! Then my milk supply took a dive and I learned that if I was going to have any hope of continuing I’d have to take care of myself too. I decided to stock up on easy to eat stuff, and on the weekends I’d make huge pasta or potato bakes, rice or pasta salads and soup. I’d normally reheat that stuff before scoffing my face and then running to my bed to try and nap. None of it was “lean” and I wasn’t aiming for low fat/salt/sugar but I didn’t care, it was filling, pretty nutritious and was a means to an end.

How did your image of motherhood compare to the reality?

What did you do to overcome your challenges?

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