I’ve touched on how friendships change when you become a mum and there’s that weird thing that happens… You start to become one of those mums. You know those mums that suddenly tries to get a whole bunch of mum friends? And then you get awkward and a little stalkerish about it!? Ha ha.
But no joke, having a mum group is so crucial to your job as a mum! It’s like having a whole group of baby experts on tap, who have first hand experience with their own babies! And the more mum’s you have in your arsenal the better as you’re more likely to find at least one person who’s had the same baby issue as you! Plus there’s the bonus of being able to bitch, laugh or cry about your life, judgment free, and then the next minute, sit back in awe of your babies without childless people thinking you’re one of those “crazy” mums. At your best, and at your worst only another mum can get you in the way that you need to be “got”.
I’m the first of my close friends to have a baby which was WAY hard to begin with. Thankfully it was just a matter of going out to my wider network of friends with kiddos, going to a few baby coffee groups, attending a space group and finding some mum groups on Facebook. I’m really lucky that I’ve almost always had positive experiences as lady friendships can be hard work. I’ve got a few really special mum friends and have found some really supportive ladies, even a few relative strangers who I now talk to almost daily!!
But come on, women can be a fickle bunch and mothers are no exception. I have no time for people who are dicks, have a baby, and continue to be a dick. I mean, mothers can be a minefield, I’ve heard so many judgemental comments from women about other mums that the mind boggles. What were they saying about me when I walked away? Or skipped a coffee group? A few people “kindly” questioned our use of dummies, swaddling, not co-sleeping, doing some sleep training, continuing to breastfeed baby now that she has teeth… I’d never let anyone think that their opinion means anything to me, but it stings. Just a little. Every time.
So here’s to all the supportive women and the amazing, wonderful, strong fellow mothers in my life. I couldn’t thank you enough!! And here’s some aroha for the women who don’t have a lot of help, or a big bunch of mama friends, like I do. There were a few times I felt like I was drowning even WITH supportive people around me..! Your strength astounds me.
Are you lucky enough to have some great mum friends?