Shannon loves to tell me to “chill the f#ck out” on many occasion. I used to be mega uptight but he’s way chill so we balance each other out. I’d like to think I’ve made him more organised and he’s made me more relaxed, and eventually we’ll reach a point where we’re both equally organised and relaxed…!
Becoming a mother has made me more and also less chill. I’m hoping I’m not the only one…
Ways in which I’m more chill:
Not having a time strict routine – this is a sure way of setting yourself up for failure. Trust me. I’ll also let the baby decide when I’m getting up for the day (within reason). If we’ve had a rough night, I’ll let her sleep in, if she’s hollering at 6:20am rather than her normal 6:30? We’ll get her up.
Morning wake time tends to dictate the rest of the day, so if you worry too much about set awake and nap times, you’re stuffed unless you wake your baby at the same time every day.
Not caring about fashion, hair or beauty like I used to. As long as I’ve showered and my face, hair and underwear is clean, I’m happy. I used to spend time every day on hair and makeup and I’d pick my clothes carefully… That was when I had time to think about only myself, which is not a luxury I currently have. Ha. Occasionally I’ll make an effort, but generally, I don’t.
Not caring about my body like I used to. The things I care about now are different. Am I eating and drinking enough to make enough milk? Am I resting enough to make enough milk? Can I physically parent my child? Can I lift her, get down on the floor with her, play with her, have fun and sing to her? Those are the things I care about now. Not, how huge my muffin top is when I wear my old jeans…! It would be great to get rid of those last pregnancy kilos, and I intend to get around to losing it soon, I just haven’t found that balance yet.
Not everything needs to be done perfectly, it just needs to be done. Shannon loves to point out that I’ve gotten lazy in my household routines, like how I just chuck the plastic containers into the drawer rather than stack them perfectly and in size order. I used to be a loser who had time to care about crap like that but I’m happy to report there’s other more pressing issues in my life.
Not minding about all that baby grossness. Like spew. Or poo. Or pee. I’ve had my hands covered in sick many a time and I’m usually more worried that the baby is OK than my own hands being (literally) full..!
Loving my husband for what he does and forgetting about what he doesn’t. Awww this is a cheesy one, but a great tip for any relationship. Why bother getting agitated when your partner doesn’t help you with everything around the house – it used to really annoy me that he didn’t cook, clean the kitchen and bathroom, or mop, however he DOES vacuum, shop for the groceries, mow the lawn, put out the rubbish, do the dishes and help with the washing. Plus when I really needed him, he was at home with me, soothing the baby, and telling me I was doing a great job. Letting go of the stuff he doesn’t do made me acknowledge there’s things I don’t do either, the point is that, house stuff always gets done, and we both put in the hard work.
Ways in which I have NOT chilled out:
Doing everything in baby’s routine roughly in order and FOR A GOOD REASON. Here’s an example, my newborn baby was fed, burped and then sat up to digest her milk. No bouncing and playing for a few minutes lest you get covered in sour milk vomit. Many a visitor discovered why I had that rule.
Example two, as a bare minimum, baby gets a nappy change when she wakes and before she goes back to bed . No one wants to eat food or go to bed while sitting in their own grossness!!
Having “home days”. For every day out, I make sure we have a day at home to allow baby to catch up on her sleep. I’m very strict on this as our girl is a sensitive wee soul and a bit of a home girl – we’ve not had a week without at least three home days in a long time, and certainly not since I noticed that Mackenzie is way unsettled if we do too many activities. I don’t mind as I personally love home days too and I know she’ll grow out of it and want to be on the go all the time, which will be exhausting!
Hygiene. My hands got so sore from washing them constantly when Mackenzie was a newborn. Even though we’re way out of the first 12 weeks where you must sterilise everything that the baby comes into contact with, I’m still doing countless nappy changes, and baby food prep, so I’m still washing and wiping the heck out of my hands. Now I get why mum always had hand cream on standby!!
Having time out. Every week my husband and I have our own personal time out from family life. Without this I’d be hating life. Furreal. I get home from a short 30 min coffee with a friend and I can’t wait to smoosh my poor baby’s face.
Washing our cloth nappies a specific way. I’ve written a post about our cloth nappy baby but in short, I’ve spent too much money and time figuring out what nappies work for us that I’m really picky about how they’re treated. These things get washed at least once a week so you’re looking at over 100 washes per nappy, per baby. The cost alone is worth looking after them but my main goal is to try to give them a good shot at surviving to toilet training and beyond.
What ways have you chilled and not chilled after parenthood?