Things I never thought I’d say before becoming a mother

A few things I never thought I’d say before becoming a parent…

  1. “Oh thank goodness, she finally pooed”
    It had been 6 days between poop sessions at that point..
  2. “What brand of nappy should we buy?”
    If you know me then you’ll know I’m a bargain hunter. And since we cloth nappy at all times except overnight I never put a second thought into disposables and figured I’d get the cheapest brand. But unsurprisingly I changed to choosing quality over price because, a leaking nappy at 2am is a parent’s worst nightmare amirite?
  3. “No! She must feed from both of my boobs!”
    This happened right around the time someone told me that if your baby doesn’t have a big feed, they won’t have a big sleep, and then they’ll wake tired, and hungry and continue to have small feeds, small sleeps AND I’D NEVER SLEEP AGAIN. I was looking down this downward spiralling hole of feeling like I might die of sleep deprivation. It was tough.
  4. “ I don’t care if she eats toast and banana for all of her meals. She just needs to eat”
    Because before I was a mum I thought it was “ridiculous” to think that parents couldn’t control their children enough to give them a balanced diet. HA HA HAAAAA!
    As if a small child cares about what YOU want.
    One hard lesson of parenting is that you really can’t make your baby eat or drink anything. I’ve spent countless hours cleaning food off the floor and walls because my girl has figured out how to throw. Oh and she also knows how to mash food between her fingers and into all the tiny gaps of her highchair!? Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself, or at least smirk at how I was a freakin’ know-it-all!
  5. “Lets wake up the baby”
    Ok I KNOW everyone tells you to NEVER wake your baby otherwise they’ll never ever sleep again (yeah, right) but there’s such a thing as day sleep “robbing” night sleep. I know this to be true because once I cut Mackenzie’s day sleeps down to 1.5hrs each she started to sleep through almost every night. If you’re gently waking them at the end of a 45 minute sleep cycle, say at 1.5hrs or 2hrs 15mins or 3 hours by opening the door and letting bub wake up from the extra light and noise, they’ll still be a happy chappy! I promise xo 
  6. “Is this toy appropriate?” 
    I didn’t ever have an opinion about toys before baby but yes – I’m now one of those mums who is concerned about toys being age and developmentally appropriate! I feel like toys need to go back to basics. I mean, do they really need the multicoloured guitar that plays ten different songs, at three different volumes in seven different languages at the touch of a button? No. Probably not. Sure they’re fun but they’re not a need, right? So good work if you get given toys that do that stuff but save your own pennies for the basics and marvel in the pure joy and fascination on your baby’s face when you give them a wooden spoon and some pots to bang while you cook dinner.
  7. “Baby can I hold you tonight?”
    I was sat in the doctors surgery one day waiting to see my doctor about my asthma which had been aggravated by a cold when an old lady struck up a conversation about how Mackenzie was sleeping beautifully in her capsule.
    When I told her it was because she had been up all freakin’ night and with me already being sick I was just so tired from it all she nodded, sagely. “Hmm, yes” she said “but for every mother like you who is bone-tired, there’s another women lying awake at night too, wishing she was you”
    It was probably just that I was sick but I blinked back a little tear and thought, actually? If I’m going to BE awake at night, isn’t it a privilege to be up cuddling my baby? Well, maybe not a privilege but it’s gotta count for something, right?
    So that night, as Mackenzie cried in the dark because she had wind/reflux I rubbed her back, rocked her and sang to her (because that normally helped) and into my mind popped that beautiful song “Baby can I hold you” by Tracy Chapman and I thought it was kinda funny, or ironic (or sleep deprived manicness) that I could sing to her about holding her in that moment, that night.

What surprising things have you said since becoming a parent?

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