Two thousand and seventeen (plus many more) moments of resilience, and love. Pain and joy. Fun and monotony. And always learning.
Kids are sponges! Vibes, germs, swear words… if you’re giving them out they’ll absorb them and use it against you.
A friend recently started a new job; Very exciting for mama but a bit daunting.. you know, normal first day jitters, and of course her kiddos played up at daycare drop off.
She messaged our group saying “ugh how do they know!?” and I was like: babe, I don’t know how they know BUT THEY KNOW.
It’s true: you can get up each day, put your big girl undies on and use your mum voice all you like, but if you have one ounce of self doubt? Your kids will exploit you for that like you’ve just shoplifted a lip gloss and you don’t want the ‘rents to find out.
So how do you get confidence as a Mum? Well that’s a hard one… but here are a few things that helped me in the end.
I feel like christmas is on another level when you have kids… It can be easy to feel stressed about what to buy to the point where you procrastinate and get NOTHING, or you go out and buy all the things.
Last year I bought too much that I ended up having a stash of overflow for birthdays, so I’ve been determined to do better this year. The two things that made the difference this time was making a list well ahead of time, and then slowly buying over the last few months. Continue reading
Argh fuck people. Honestly.
I read a truth bomb online last week. A fellow mum was brutally shut down online for talking about weaning her baby when she was ready, however commentary seemed to indicate that she’d done it earlier than what people thought she “should” have.
In her blog she said: “Being honest about motherhood is ok, but only when it’s what people want you to say”
It’s true: we take one step forward towards making motherhood a little more positive and inclusive, and then if your pinky toe gets one inch out of line, you’re pushed back into your place with a: “What were you thinking, little mama; that you, as an individual, with your own thoughts and informed decisions, mattered?” *eye roll*
Becoming a parent teaches you a lot about yourself.
There are truths I have learnt that I was not prepared to know. Life, of course, doesn’t care about that, it throws you in the deep end and expects you to swim.
I think it’s why I can’t help but flash a knowing smile every time I talk to a newly pregnant friend. They have all the joy, and hope and nervousness that I had too.
They also have the naïveté that is so comforting during those preparation months.
Ok PLEASE do not read this thinking you will suddenly transform into a “better” working mum (whatever “better” means). But do have a read, and do leave a comment about the quick ways that have helped you feel like a better working māmā xo
Inspiration comes at the oddest of times.. I read this blog post written by a New Zealand leadership guru, and working mum extraordinaire, Suzi McAlpine. She writes about how you can be a better leader in less than 5 minutes and I thought “Oh man, I wish I could be a better mum in 5 minutes”… and then I thought, actually, why can’t I?
Other than being organised, overcoming the all too familiar working mum guilt and putting rest ahead of, oh I don’t know… EVERYTHING ELSE, here are a few new things I’ve discovered over the last few months that have helped me to be a better working māmā… Continue reading
There’s something that’s been bothering me to no end lately.
It could’ve started when I re-read that awesome blog post by Emily Writes, where she explained that even if you *think* you’re being helpful by reminding parents to be grateful, it’s actually a dangerous thing to do.
To me, it feels like people are trying to suppress how we really feel. That it’s fucking hard, you guys. So hard. And it can be hard, but you can love it all the same. But it can be really dangerous to basically dismiss an expectant couple, or a parent when they don’t gush about how they love every minute of their life. You’re doing to us now, what you did to us as children, you’re telling us that what we feel is wrong. That we shouldn’t fuss. That we should just toughen up and get over it because previous generations had it hard and we have everything, now. So we hide it.
I went back to work after two glorious weeks of holiday, and oh boy did the reality of working mum life hit me hard. Continue reading
It was the first day of summer yesterday, down here in New Zealand, and this is my favourite summer chill song.
It got me thinking about the weird and wonderful little things that get you energised, make you happy, and make you want to get up tomorrow and fight the good fight all over again.
Do you know what they are, for you? This TEDTalk by Shona Rhimes explains what I think that feeling is like – “The Hum”. It can be a certain time of day, certain people or certain things you do in your routine. Continue reading
“Be kind, Be respectful, Be grateful, Be curious” is scrawled across the whiteboard I crudely drilled onto our kitchen wall. And in our family, this is how we aim to approach life, and each other.
Let’s go back to why I’m telling you this… I get really, really annoyed by writers who write with a negative slant when their message could’ve been communicated positively. Take for example, all of the “don’t” and “should” blogs, which generally have good content, but end up being parent shaming in the sense that you read them and feel guilty for doing all the things that the so-called experts tell you NOT to do, rather than empowered to try something new or to make a positive change.