The things you fixate on can be really dumb sometimes…
My darling girl just turned one so I’m weaning myself off pumping. When I went back to work she got really sick with an ear infection and then refused the boob. It was hard because I wasn’t ready but also because I had this predetermined idea that I’d breastfeed until she was a year old. I don’t really know where I got it from or why I decided it was a particular goal, but it is what it is.
I think it might be an accomplishment thing… Like, I don’t even want to lie that I feel quite proud that she got the liquid gold for as long as I could provide it.
Anyway, all this got me thinking about the things you fixate on!
They could be big, and usually the big things are the important things, or small silly things like:
– If your baby suddenly changes their poop schedule
– If they don’t drink their allocated 200ml bottle because the formula tin says they should
– If they don’t eat as much solid food as the Plunket chart says they should
– If your baby doesn’t sleep as much as that stupid book/magazine article/blog said they shoud
– If your baby gets nappy rash and that zinc cream everyone swears by doesn’t work right away
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that we can obsess about the little things to the point that we lose sight of the important things.
Like how my baby was happy (reflux episodes exempt), loved, cared for, warm, fed, and cuddled at all times. I know it’s really hard to get your head out of the day-to-day in order to think about the big picture but once I started to do it, I found it really helped my overall experience as a new mother.
So to my fellow māmā’s, try to focus on the little things that bring joy rather than the ones that can drive you crazy. Like that new baby smell, their first smile, their head resting on your shoulder, that little sigh of relief they do when you pick them up out of their cot when they’re crying. You’re doing an amazing job by worrying about those fixations, but they do no service to yourself if that is the only thing you focus on.
What were your fixations?