How do they know?

Kids are sponges! Vibes, germs, swear words… if you’re giving them out they’ll absorb them and use it against you.

A friend recently started a new job; Very exciting for mama but a bit daunting.. you know, normal first day jitters, and of course her kiddos played up at daycare drop off.

She messaged our group saying “ugh how do they know!?” and I was like: babe, I don’t know how they know BUT THEY KNOW.

It’s true: you can get up each day, put your big girl undies on and use your mum voice all you like, but if you have one ounce of self doubt? Your kids will exploit you for that like you’ve just shoplifted a lip gloss and you don’t want the ‘rents to find out.

So how do you get confidence as a Mum?  Well that’s a hard one… but here are a few things that helped me in the end.

Baby number I. Don’t be fooled by that smile.. I was in the depths of self doubt at this stage
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Springing into those same old stages

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Spring has sprung and with it came a new baby! Well lots of babies, probably, but mine in particular.

My son came into the world early and he’s big, cries lots, feeds like a demon all day long and our hearts are so full. But it turns out that I still know nothing about nothing *anguished sob* Continue reading

You are what you think…

I will never forget her… The nurse who scrunched up her nose, rolled her eyes and told me it was “not ideal to cuddle your baby, or look them in the eye when they wake at night”.  It really hurt that to her, my instincts were wrong, and as a new mum I believed her. I believed her words over my own inner voice. I believed that she was right and I was wrong and OMG I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO AND THIS IS JUST GOING TO GET HARDER AND HARDER AND I JUST KNOW MY KID WILL NEVER EVER SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT, OR BE EASY TO RAISE.  Continue reading

Fixations

The things you fixate on can be really dumb sometimes…

My darling girl just turned one so I’m weaning myself off pumping.  When I went back to work she got really sick with an ear infection and then refused the boob. It was hard because I wasn’t ready but also because I had this predetermined idea that I’d breastfeed until she was a year old. I don’t really know where I got it from or why I decided it was a particular goal, but it is what it is.

I think it might be an accomplishment thing… Like, I don’t even want to lie that I feel quite proud that she got the liquid gold for as long as I could provide it.

Anyway, all this got me thinking about the things you fixate on!
They could be big, and usually the big things are the important things, or small silly things like:

– If your baby suddenly changes their poop schedule

– If they don’t drink their allocated 200ml bottle because the formula tin says they should

– If they don’t eat as much solid food as the Plunket chart says they should

– If your baby doesn’t sleep as much as that stupid book/magazine article/blog said they shoud

– If your baby gets nappy rash and that zinc cream everyone swears by doesn’t work right away

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that we can obsess about the little things to the point that we lose sight of the important things.
Like how my baby was happy (reflux episodes exempt), loved, cared for, warm, fed, and cuddled at all times. I know it’s really hard to get your head out of the day-to-day in order to think about the big picture but once I started to do it, I found it really helped my overall experience as a new mother.

So to my fellow māmā’s, try to focus on the little things that bring joy rather than the ones that can drive you crazy.  Like that new baby smell, their first smile, their head resting on your shoulder, that little sigh of relief they do when you pick them up out of their cot when they’re crying. You’re doing an amazing job by worrying about those fixations, but they do no service to yourself if that is the only thing you focus on.

 

What were your fixations?

Miracles

miracle (1)Ok lets get deep, about so-called miracles.

It’s a funny little term, isn’t it? Something of divine intervention and mystical happenings… I first started hearing this term on the daily when I was delivered of my baby – and in an odd way, it bothered me. Continue reading

Tips for working mum’s…

My mother worked too hard for me not to be great

Before kids I was a career girl – I absolutely LOVED my job, I’d show up early, leave late and check my email in the evening. I loved being a self starter who went with the career tide and came out knowing exactly where I fit in the world.
In a similar way, motherhood is one of those jobs you go into without qualifications, and completely unprepared for. It was totally mind blowing, challenging, out of my comfort zone and I loved it. I still love it!
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“Preparing your marriage for a new baby”

 I read an #ugh post on Pinterest on how best to prepare your marriage for a new baby… I mean, everyone is entitled to their own opinion but this lady was on a whole different page, no wait, BOOK than me. I’m a modern girl in a pretty equal relationship and although I’m married I don’t believe that marriage is the be all and end all to life.
We did some pre-marriage counselling before the church would agree to marry us so yeah, I definitely think there’s some merit to the idea of preparing yourself for parenthood, like you would for marriage. Most of all I think couples who are expecting should do it their own way, on their own terms, which now that I think of it may actually be different from mine..! But anyway, if you’re curious, here’s what I have to say on the matter:  Continue reading

Changing Friendships


A few of my new mum friends have touched on how motherhood changes everything about you. Your outlook on life, your body, your identity and the big one… Your relationships.

If you’re lucky like me it’ll be ok. Hubbs and I are actually stronger despite the dip in romance because becoming parents has been so amazing for us as individuals, plus there’s that moment every few days where we look at the baby and just think “holy crap we made you… and you’re perfect!”.  Continue reading

They told me

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They told me, you know.

They told me pregnancy would be tough.
I didn’t quite realise how true that was until I was walking (or waddling) that walk. And I wasn’t actually 100% ready for what was coming either. I was one of the lucky ones. One of those women (probably very annoying to some) who got off contraception, did it once, and got pregnant..!
Finding out I was having a baby was so weird. First I was happy, then a little freaked out and I for sure didn’t deal with that second bit.

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